A Lackluster Libido: Why It Happens and How to Fix It
Your libido, a.k.a sex drive, is like a roller coaster you are always riding.
You’ll ride the highs when you are DTF any time of day, as well as the lows, where the thought of sex is as appealing as folding laundry.
Swings in sexual desire are natural; however, if you find your libido has been lackluster for too long, there could be an underlying issue. To set fire to your libido and boost your sex drive, you first need to determine why you aren’t feeling how you used it.
Reasons for a Low Libido
There may be physical, hormonal, or mental reasons for your lack of sexual interest. Here are a few reasons for a low libido:
- Psychological issues:Sex is as mental as it is physical, so when you aren’t feeling up to it mentally, your body won’t feel the urge Sexual trauma, low self-esteem, stress, anxiety, and depression can cause a low sex drive.
- Relationship dissatisfaction:Emotional intimacy, and a lack of, could be impacting your sex drive. A lack of connection, unresolved conflict, trust issues, or poor communication could be the cause.
- Lifestyle:Too much alcohol or smoking cigarettes can decrease the blood flow needed to feel aroused. This is true for both men and women – and where the term “whiskey dick” comes from!
- Sexual conditions:If sex is painful for you – you aren’t going to want to do it! There may be underlying physical issues, so you should speak to a doctor.
- Medications:A lot of prescription drugs, especially antidepressants, can lower your sex drive.
- Menopause:Changes in your hormone levels can significantly affect your sex drive. As you transition to menopause, your estrogen levels drop. With reduced estrogen, you can experience dry vaginal tissue, and sex can become uncomfortable.
9 Ways to Boost Your Libido
Hopefully, this goes without saying, but if it is a medical condition or your medications are causing your lackluster libido – don’t just stop treatment. Speak with a medical professional. Sex is very important and a human need, so don’t feel embarrassed about bringing up the topic. That said, there are things that you can do that can help rev your sexual engine.
1. Eat a nutritious diet and get active.
A diet rich in protein, vitamins, and minerals can boost your libido! Cut the crap - sugar, booze, heavily processed foods, and cigarettes will help promote circulation and send blood flow down below. Exercise will do this as well! Exercise is scientifically proven to boost confidence and self-esteem, which will also increase your sex drive.
2. Use sex toys and lube up.
As you may have noticed from the reasons listed above, vaginal dryness can cause uncomfortable sex and lower your libido. Having a more enjoyable sexual experience and spending more time using a vibrator with generous amounts of lube will stimulate blood flow and arousal. Use a small vibrator like this clitoral kissing vibrator and apply a liberal amount of lube all over your clitoris and toy. You can adjust the settings to find the speed and intensity that feels best for you. This will also encourage natural lubrication as you become more aroused.
3. Focus on intimacy.
Perhaps you feel this lull because you have been with your partner for a long time, or you feel there is less of a “spark.” Instead of focusing on sex, focus on the bond, and emotional intimacy between you two. You can plan a date night, a weekend away, or an activity you both enjoy. Start by improving the relationship outside of the bedroom, and you will find sex will follow.
4. Manage stress and anxiety.
High levels of anxiety and stress can make it difficult for you to become aroused. Research has shown that anxiety and depression in both men and women increase sexual dysfunction. And, the stress of a low-libido can put further pressure on you and make it that much more challenging. Practice good stress management through meditation, and make sure you are taking care of your mental and physical health.
5. Practice good sleep hygiene.
Science has shown us that women who get more sleep have an increase in sexual desire the next day. A good night’s rest can literally make you horny! Focus on getting yourself into a sleep routine and getting enough sleep each night. This will improve your energy levels, mood, and libido.
6. Attend sex therapy.
Sexual desire is full of complexities that sex therapists are very familiar with. If you are looking to improve your sex drive, a sex therapist can help you work through any underlying issues. One study found that cognitive behavior therapy in a group increased sexual satisfaction in women. The mind-body connection is powerful. Speaking with someone about your views on sex, your sex drive, and any relationship issues can help give you the boost you are after.
7. Try herbal treatments.
We have all heard of “the little blue pill,” but did you know there are also natural herbs that can improve sexual function? Maca, ginkgo, ginseng, and Tribulus are said to be effective libido boosters in both men and women.
8. Eat certain foods.
Known as aphrodisiacs, there are certain foods that can get you in the mood. Figs, bananas, avocados, chocolate, and oysters are believed to promote sexual desire. Although there isn’t a ton of scientific research backing this, there is no harm in trying!
9. Increase self-esteem.
When you are feeling yourself, you are more likely to feel someone else. A poor self-image can reduce your desire. Instead of focusing on what you don’t like about yourself, focus on your attributes. Play up the features you love and put on some lingerie or clothes that make you feel good!
As you can see, there are plenty of ways that can help boost your libido! To figure out what gets you going, try them out and see which works best. With an increased sex drive, you ride those rollercoaster-like highs once again.