How to Discuss Sex Toys with Friends
When spending time with friends, the discussion may sometimes shift to sex, relationships, and dating. In the discussion, people always share their frustrations about relationships and dating, and their sex life in general. In today's world, you are more likely to come across a person frustrated with their relationship and sex life than it is to find a satisfied one.
Sex is a big part of every relationship, and you need to discuss it openly and freely with friends. Many people incorporate sex toys into their sex lives. Everyone may have their reasons for using sex toys, and talking about it with friends may help give you some ideas. Some people may find it difficult to talk about sex toys and sex generally. Even the closest of friends may feel uncomfortable discussing their sex lives.
So how do you approach the topic of sex toys when it comes up during a discussion with friends? Here are some tips:
Try to Get Their Comfort Levels
Generally, the topic of sex and sex toys may be challenging for some people. Some people will find it difficult to talk about sex toys freely. Depending on how they relate to such topics or their beliefs, you need to understand the extent to which someone is comfortable. It would help if you respected what they are comfortable with or may not be comfortable to discuss.
It would be best if you established a way in which everyone will be receptive to the topic. Understand the words you can use so that you can have an honest conversation with friends. Once everyone feels that you respect the level they can get comfortable, they can easily open up and talk about their beliefs and experiences.
Meet Them Where They Are
People may be using sex toys secretly, making it difficult for them to talk about it openly. There can be a feeling of embarrassment, and someone may not feel free to open up. Therefore, such people require patience, and the best way is to meet them where they are.
If you are talking to two friends, and one is comfortable while the other is not, the best thing to do is to chart a neutral ground. Understanding what one considers as okay to talk about is the best thing you can do. You can, therefore, set rules and boundaries, and all of you can speak freely. You do not need to force someone to talk. Being polite and friendly will make your friends feel comfortable.
Avoid Sounding Judgmental
Providing a listening ear to your friends is the best thing you can do. Friends always like to have someone who can listen to them without judging them. Judging someone gives the impression that you did not understand what they are going through. It does not matter whether someone is a novice or with vast experience in using sex toys.
Providing a listening ear will make your friend feel comfortable and confident in you, and they will talk without filtering or hiding some things. You may have an opinion about what they are passing across, but the best thing to do is let them speak. They may be speaking out of frustration or excitement, and you do not need to interrupt the process.
Ideally, listening to someone's story and not passing judgment shows that you are a good friend. It builds trust. When it is your turn to talk or contribute to the discussion, do not sound like you criticize someone. The best thing to do is avoid using words like "you should" or "you must." Additionally, what may work for you may not work for someone else, and you should not try to impose it on someone. You should listen and encourage someone to do what works for them.
Be Honest When Talking About Your Experiences
When you are honest, your friends will feel free to talk to you about their experiences. Friends will feel confident and have no difficulty in trusting you. Talk to them about the sex toys you have owned or the ones you currently have. Give them an opinion on which ones worked for you and the ones you did not like. Remind them that those are your experiences, and it does not really dictate how their case will be.
When you freely open up honestly, a friend will also open up freely. You may learn a thing or two from them. It will be a learning platform for both of you as you can compare the notes. The discussions may make you realize where you are going wrong, and you may try to correct that. Additionally, you may fail on one toy, but that may be exactly what your friend wants.
Generally, speaking about what you did to get accustomed to a particular sex toy may help someone. However, if you are dishonest, someone may wrongly try out something new, and they may end up hating the whole experience.
Support Your Friends Choices
The best thing is to understand that although we may be friends, everyone is different in a particular way. They may make choices that are different from yours. You need to respect them and support them in their choices. They may make a decision in their sexual life that is different from yours. They may also choose sex toys that you do not use.
Supporting them in their choices will make them feel confident. It would be best if you encouraged them to experiment, and as long as their decisions are not affecting you or do not cause any harm to them and their partner, respect and support them. Nothing feels better than when your friend supports you in everything you do – including your sexual life choices.
As much as discussing the topic of sex and sex toys may make you feel uncomfortable, you need to do it with friends. Friends are the people who can understand you and relate to your experiences. Such discussions will also be a learning experience for all of you.