We all go through breakups in our life at some point, and it is never easy. One of the most disheartening things after the breakup is seeing your ex entering into a new relationship, especially when they choose to go back with their ex. That seems to be the most humiliating and unbearable feeling in the world because it sparks the inner fear that you are not good enough and triggers your toxic emotion of jealousy.
For months, you find yourself deprived of meaning in life, lying on the bed, crying all day long, and in a worse situation, binge eating or drinking, or the complete opposite, you lose your appetite completely. All your passion for life seems to be gone due to that single poignant event. You keep berating yourself for not have done something different to change his or her mind. Your self-esteem and self-worth are in massive crises.
Yes, breakups are so common in our life that I believe that none of these would sound alien to you. Different people cope with breakups differently; however, there isn't really one standard concrete cure for everyone. Here is a list of things that we can do during the healing process.
Accept what it is as it is
One of the most challenging things after the breakup is to accept the hard reality; therefore, the first thing you should do is accept that it is over and that there is no magic cure that can you fix you overnight as if nothing has happened. The recovery timeframe varies for everyone, and you too should pace yourself and not rush anything. You should allow yourself lots of time to grieve, cry, be angry, and be sad. The experience of breaking up is a rejection that pierces both your heart and soul.
Accept that your identity changes now; you are no longer a boyfriend or a girlfriend to someone; you are no longer a part of "We" anymore. Maybe you owned a pet together; perhaps you had some friends in common,
No matter how it was like before, it is time to redefine and rebuild your own sense of self.
Start a new hobby and focus on personal growth
It might not sound like the best time to pick up a new hobby, but trust me, it is worth trying. It's something you can do no matter you are in the mood of socializing or not. You may start by buying yourself a new musical instrument, painting materials, or signing up for a cooking class. By immersing yourself in the process of learning something brand new and unrelated to your past experience, you can temporarily set your mind free, focusing on something else. You never know what those things can unleash in your life and who knows, you may discover a new passion or a unique talent.
Stay close with friends and family
Modern life can be very hectic and overwhelming that as a result, we often neglect one of the most essential elements in human connection-friends and family. When single again, it is the perfect time to reconnect by talking and sharing your stories with them. It is comforting to know that those people will always love you and accept you no matter what happens to your life. When you surround yourself with people who love you, it will help you feel loved, worthy, and secure. Romantic relationship is essential, but it is not the only thing worth living and pursuing in life.
Coping with loneliness and lack of intimacy
Even though friends and family can provide us with a lot of support and love, it is still natural to feel lonely and long for intimacy post-breakup. For a long time, you might found yourself miss your ex, their smiles, warm hugs, and gentle touches a lot. Intimacy is such an important part of our lives, and all of us need and certainly want it. When we are single, we often crave that intimate touch, the warmth of someone to hold us gently, touch us affectionately, desire us physically, and satisfy our sexuality.
If you are ready mentally, you don't have to wait for the perfect partner to show up. You can practice with a person you like and respect, with consciousness and no strings attached. It is healthy for us to seek this kind of connection. You should never be ashamed about having this want. Everyone needs touch, to be held, and to be sexual. However, if you feel you are not ready, always take a step back.
However, suppose you are not ready to have a sexual relationship with another human being. In that case, solo orgasms can be just as therapeutic as ones you have with a partner, and a sex toy might do the right trick for you, helping you reconnect with your own sexuality and discover other hotspots.
No rush jumping into another relationship
The fact that you ex already started to date someone else does not mean you need to rush anything. If you try to jump into a new relationship before you're emotionally ready to, it may cause problems between you and that person. One of the mistakes I made once was trying to date someone before I was emotionally available; I ended up disappointing and hurting the other person who likes me very much.
Try to be positive and hopeful
We often lose hope and become despaired after a breakup, triggered by the fear that we may never find someone we can trust and love again. But It is simply a trick that our mind plays on us; tell yourself repeatedly that someday this will be over and your heart will be whole again. If you find yourself struggling with the pain from a harsh breakup, bear in the heart that things can and will get better.